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Do Couples Who Sleep Apart Sleep Better?

feet sticking out from blanket facing away

Falling in love and spending the rest of your life sleeping in the arms of your beloved represents the romantic ideal — or does it? 

Let's remember that the iconic loving couple, Romeo and Juliet, lounged around in their bed of passion at the age of fourteen. They probably didn't snore or have digestive issues, not to mention their fictional status.

How Many Couples Sleep Apart?

Of course, we all know of that couple married for decades who enjoy each other's company almost invariably, and that, of course, includes sleeping together. But, let's face it, the couple who thrives on habitual clinging represents the minority.

As the expectations for marriage and long term relationships evolve, so does the idea of sleeping together. People started sleeping together to stay warm. When you're freezing, intimacy becomes an afterthought. 

Many couples today end up sleeping together for economic reasons. When you fall in love, and you're both paying over half your salary for a one-bedroom apartment, it makes financial sense to blend households and share a bed. 

Today, however, nearly 31% of American couples sleep apart, some in separate beds and others in different rooms entirely. Many couples who can afford multiple homes even frequently find themselves in separate dwellings entirely. 

In the UK, only about 15% of couples sleep apart, perhaps holding on to the idea that separate rooms indicate a royal status. The Germans resolve many of the sleeping together problems with two sets of bedding on one big bed. In Japan, an area not big on space, still claims that 38% of couples sleep apart.

Problems with Inadequate Sleep

Some of the reasons couples sleep apart include different work schedules, different circadian rhythms, and the need for personal space. The number one reason to kiss goodnight before retiring to separate beds or even separate rooms, however, involves quality of sleep. 

If you suffer from poor sleep due to pain, anxiety, restless legs, or any reason, you probably experience sleep disturbances. Your problems with falling and staying asleep also present a good chance you're keeping your spouse awake as well. 

Sufficient and adequate sleep represents a significant tenet of good health. A night or two of tossing and turning might not adversely affect our health, but over time lack of sleep may negatively impact our health significantly. Proper sleep affects more than just our appearance and the reduction of those under-eye bags.

A Harvard study found several ways in which adequate sleep may improve our health and subsequently our lives:

  • Our cognitive abilities improve with proper rest.
  • Sufficient sleep does a lot to fight depression and anxiety.
  • Good quality sleep helps to combat heart disease.
  • Sleep strengthens the immune system and helps ward off or shorten the common cold and the flu.
  • We need a good night's sleep to drive a car or operate other heavy machinery safely.

Communication is Key 

So, you noticed that your sleep improves substantially when your husband travels for business. It wouldn't make sense to announce you've decided to sleep in the den when he arrives home from his trip. Sleeping apart still represents a bit of a relationship taboo. We often associate sleeping in another bed or room as a sign of infidelity or at the very least, a lack of caring or affection. But, handled the right way, suggesting the idea of sleeping apart to your partner may represent a way to strengthen your relationship.

One crucial component to the conversation involves including the well-being of both of you. Mentioning that the other person snores regularly and you need your sleep may sound overly selfish. If both people's well-being and precisely quality of sleep get discussed, the idea stands a much better chance of receiving a favorable reception.  

Sometimes, sleeping in separate beds in a relatively large room may solve sleep deprivation problems. Beyond just sleep, the need or want may exist for personal or private space. If a couple lives in a dwelling with adequate room, why not make the 'man cave' or den also serve as the second bedroom? Comfortable daybeds present an excellent option for lounging during the day and a good night's sleep. 

The critical point involving communication revolves around both people understanding and agreeing. Separate beds or even bedrooms present an opportunity not only for better physical health but an improved relationship as well.

Best of both worlds

Of course, many couples experience great sleep together and enjoy sharing a bed. They should continue to sleep together regularly. But, those who choose a less regular nighttime routine should not feel like they don't qualify as a loving couple.

When we receive adequate sleep and the luxury of our own private space, our mood and health improve. Feeling better, both physically and mentally, most likely will enhance our relationships, especially the one involving our spouse or significant other. 

Those sleeping apart may very well see their love life improve with the practice of keeping separate beds or bedrooms. 

And, of course, compromises do exist. You may decide to sleep apart only sometimes, depending on what's going on with the needs and wants of both people. A bad cold might mean one person needs their own space. A period of grief or anxiety might indicate a time where you require more of a comforting presence from your partner. 

We can help you achieve a great night's sleep

Whether you and your partner decide to share most of your Zzzs or part ways at the 11 o'clock hour, we offer the products to help you get your best night's sleep.

We offer a variety of mattresses to meet every need. Whether or not you share a bed, you and your partner may choose from foam, latex, coils, or a hybrid of materials all of the highest quality. The mattresses and foundations come in an array of sizes, from twin to California King. There's even an XL twin for that daybed in the den.

 We also carry a variety of sheets and bedding from luxurious Egyptian cotton to breathable and easy-care microfibers. Additionally, wool and cotton comforters complete your bedding for any climate. 

Whether you opt to snuggle up with your partner or just a good book, make the eight hours you spend sleeping count toward a productive tomorrow. For more information on how the perfect mattress or bedding makes a difference in your sleep, contact us here.

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